(more coming soon)
Chris, age 30 —
I didn’t fully know what to expect before starting Reintegrative Therapy®, but now after 28 sessions with my therapist, I have a pretty good idea and can see how helpful it has been in my life.
Starting out, I had hoped my therapist could snap his fingers and make me stop being attracted to men and start being attracted to women. I had been wanting someone to do that for over 30 years, since it had always felt like there was something about my same-sex attractions that wasn’t really ‘who I am.’
But as each session went on, I could see that wasn’t going to be the case. My therapist and I would focus on past trauma memories during our time together. He never tried to get me to change my sexuality, or who I was attracted to, but instead helped me to process those memories from my past that had brought me shame and fear.
It was difficult work going through my memories, but after some time, I started noticing my attractions beginning to shift. I wasn’t feeling as strong a sexual pull towards my same sex but instead was beginning to be more open and excited about an opposite sex relationship— more than I had ever experienced previously.
My therapist and I continued working through my past. He never told me how to think or feel, but only guided me through reprocessing my thoughts and memories. It’s now been several months since I stopped my Reintegrative Therapy® and the changes I experienced have remained. My attractions to other men have decreased significantly, and my attractions to women have increased.
I’m thankful for the time I spent processing those experiences, because I know I was not ‘born this way’ and simply destined to have those feelings, no matter what.”
Muhammed, age 24 —
My name is Muhammed, and I come from a practicing Muslim family. Right before I started therapy, I was forced into a marriage by my family. The girl’s family rejected me, and I went into therapy to help me resolve the issues that were making marriage impossible for me.
I came to realize that my same-sex attractions came from a longing for company with men, from feeling controlled by my parents, and having a father who ignored me. As I spent more time in therapy and explored my childhood traumas, I came to a realization that I believe I had somehow always known– that emotional trauma was driving my same-sex attraction.
Dr. Nicolosi Jr. would start my sessions with asking me to recall one of my most compelling, unwanted same-sex fantasies. He made it clear that change of sexual orientation was not a goal of therapy, but resolution of the trauma was. At the end of the session, we would go back to the same fantasy and he would ask me about my sexual arousal. I would either have no sexual arousal or I would see that I was actually turned-off by the fantasy. He did this several times, and our sessions were only 45 minutes long. This caused me to see that I was not gay, and my trauma was the cause of my same-sex attraction.
I used to watch lots of porn because I wanted company from my male peers. I have more male friends now; hanging out with the type of men that I have been attracted to, has allowed me to decrease my same-sex attraction.
I am now engaged to marry a woman that I have willingly said yes to. I am sexually attracted to her, and I am sexually attracted to women in general. Before I started therapy, I did have one instance of sexual attraction to a woman; there was an older woman I noticed and I felt a shock in my body when looking at her in tight clothes. We explored this particular attraction and as we did, we allowed it to blossom into the more generalized attraction that I have for women now.
During therapy, I found out that I have obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) I worked on my OCD, and it has gotten a lot better. The OCD was also causing some of my obsession with homosexuality.
This experience has allowed me to become the man that I want to be for my future wife. I have less anxiety and I feel more confident.
I will now not have to spend my life alone; I will have a life partner. I will be able to live a more psychologically healthy life. Therapy was worth the money I paid for it and the time I spent working on the feelings that were creating a barrier to having a fuller life.
